A love letter to wife

Posted on September 17, 2009


Dear Wife,

Hello, It’s husband.

Lately, I have been writing a blog. Much of my blog is about you, says things about you, or includes my life with you. And it is because of my life with you that many of my friends and family have managed to get a cheap laugh.

A chuckle if you will.

You and I seem to find an endless amount of common, everyday things that we find amusing, offensive, or just plain stupid.

Things that NEED to be written about for all to see and mock.

A few times in my rantings, I have called you names such as “bitch” or mentioned our numerous trips to the Jina doctor. People often ask me how you react to such verbal tomfoolery.

That’s right, I said tomfoolery. I could have also used the term, “ballyhoo”. I heard it once while watching Good Will Hunting.

Anyways, when I am asked about your reaction to my verbal ballyhoo, I usually sit back, smile a little, and shake my head. Because I could never in a million years get them to understand the the inner workings of our complicated yet adoring relationship.

The funny thing about it is that you were more pissed about me mentioning trips the to Jina Doc than me calling you a bitch for being right all the time! Yet somehow, you understand my feeble mind and forgive me.

We have been through a lot together. You have lovingly endorsed all of my crazy new ideas and nourished the numerous phases I have gone through – some of which I am still in the midst of.

Phases such as my:

  1. Walking Stick Carving Phase
  2. Model Ship Building Phase
  3. Trying to find Jesus Phase
  4. Wanting Tattoos Phase
  5. Going back to college Phase
  6. Toastmaster’s Phase
  7. Cigar Smoking Phase
  8. Gun Phase
  9. Sick obsession with all things Navy Phase
  10. Power Tool Phase
  11. Irish Music that included a desire to learn the fiddle Phase
  12. I want to respect my heritage by owning a Kilt Phase
  13. I have to own all four Indiana Jones movies Phase
  14. I want to buy land we can’t afford Phase
  15. I have to own a Scottish Claymore Sword Phase
  16. My short lived Pirate video game Phase
  17. My I want my own website for no apparent reason Phase
  18. I like to collect knives Phase
  19. I want to be a chef Phase
  20. And now the most recent, I am a Blogger Phase.

All of which you have shown an incredible amount of support and patience with. And as dorky as the majority of that list is, you never once made me feel like the douche that I really am most of the time.

And at the risk of having many of my readers throw up onto their computer screens, I wanted to let you know how much I love you more every day. We have been together for 13 years and married for 11. How we have gotten this far, I will never know – because the cards were really never in our favor.

The odds of our marriage being as successful as it is today speaks volumes. Because despite the fact that you are such a  such a fucking nag all the time and I am a tremendous pain in your ass on a daily basis, our love continues to blossom like a soft and precious Lilly in the warmth of the freaking morning sunlight.

Yes princess, I remembered how you love lilly’s so much. That’s the kind of man I am.

It is my truest belief that our love for one another will continue to flourish in the decades to come, based on a foundation of humor and silliness and held up by a piller of dysfunction.

I once wrote in a journal of mine that “in order to find true happiness, a person needs to be void of any desire. Once desire is removed from the equation, happiness can be achieved”.

Want to take a guess as to why I am so happy with your beautiful foul mouthed, smart ass, craziness?

Because when I am with you, desire for anyone else goes away

Happiness flourishes

Now get a rag, and clean the puke off of your screens you bastards.

Posted in: Life